Mr. Excitement was invited to speak at an international medical research conference on the Greek island of Crete — something about tumor micro environments. Needless to say, it didn’t take much convincing for me to sign on as a trailing spouse. A few weeks later, the Australian government extended an invitation for him to visit 3 research institutions in The Land Down Under scheduled for about 2 weeks after the Crete conference. He was thinking he might have to decline the Australia invitation since it was so close in time to the Crete conference, in the opposite direction. Fortunately, I was able to convince him he was lacking in geographical imagination.
I basically reminded him that the world is round, so if we just kept traveling east, we’d eventually go to both Greece and Australia without returning to Philadelphia in between. They even knew this in 1689 when this map was published. (Wikimedia-Public Domain)
I pointed out that we could go to Crete, find other places to visit for two weeks, and then keep traveling east to Australia. The following conversation ensued:
Mr. Excitement: But, that would mean five weeks away traveling!
Mrs. Excitement: So? Will the world stop spinning on its axis were we to be absent from the United States for five weeks?
If you’re interested, in a blog post last week, I explained how it is that we can manage traveling away from home for 5 weeks. So it was that on a Friday at 1:30 p.m., we left home for Philadelphia International Airport, a/k/a PHL.
I’m pretty compulsive sensible about following the advice to arrive at an airport 3 hours early for international flights. Mr. Excitement and I compromised at 2.5 hours.
Travel Tip #1: When you travel with others, sometimes you have to compromise.
There was no line at the American Airlines check in kiosk. We had already checked in on line at home, but we needed luggage tags for suitcases, so we dutifully repeated the process, including re-entering all our passport information, pressing “continue” as we proceeded through each screen–no lap children under 2, no flammable liquids, no exploding batteries, no weapons, no desire to pay $90 for priority boarding, no affinity for known terrorist organizations (I may have made up that last one).
As we waited for our boarding passes and luggage tags to start printing, up popped the message that we required assistance. Really? We’ve done this twice already. A guy wearing an official looking tag around his neck directed us to a real person standing behind a counter. There, she repeated the entire process with our passports, took our suitcases, printed out new boarding passes and sent us on our way.
The next part of the US airport ritual is to get through the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) checkpoint. Thanks to our Chase Sapphire Reserve credit card, Mr. Excitement and I are happy recipients of TSA Pre-Check clearance. This allows us to use the usually shorter Pre-Check line at the security checkpoints at United States’ airports, to put our carry on bags on the conveyor belt to be x-rayed without removing liquids or laptop computers, and to walk through a magnetometer without revealing our naked selves to a full body scanner. AND, we don’t have to remove our shoes! Except, of course, we were in a terminal with no TSA Pre-Check line. We decided it was worth it to go outside and trudge over to the next terminal which has a Pre-Check line. Once Mr. Excitement was re-reminded to remove change from his pocket, we waltzed through to the secure side, trudged back to the correct terminal and found our departure gate.
Our flight was due to leave at 4:35 pm. It was now 2:45 pm. We settled in to wait. I even found an outlet to charge my phone. I had Mr. Excitement take a light hearted “proof of life” photo of me wearing my black cardigan which I consider essential for travel, but which has a tendency to wander off be left places, especially on airplanes.
Travel Tip #2: Always check the back of chairs, the floor, and the seat back pocket for your belongings. If possible, travel with a companion familiar with your proclivities for leaving behind certain articles of clothing.
It was now 3:00 p.m. I figured we’d board no later than 4:00 p.m. But, wait. Something was missing. There was no plane at A21, the gate for our 10 hour flight to Athens, Greece. A ground agent soon appeared and started calling out names of passengers who needed to have their passports swiped, including ours, even though we had now had this information gathered no fewer than 3 times. Okay. Whatever.
As I handed over my passport, I politely inquired as to the rather glaring absence of a plane at our gate. The agent told me not to worry, our plane had been at the airport since the previous day.
3:30 p.m.: The gate agent made an announcement that we may have noticed the conspicuous lack of an airplane at the end of the jetway for our gate. He said he wasn’t exactly sure where it was, but we would be the first to know when he found out. A few minutes later he was joined by another agent who announced they were pretty sure the plane was at a maintenance hangar and would appear shortly. However, she further announced that whether or not the plane had been cleaned and catered was anybody’s guess. In any case, the crew was going to have to board first and go through their required pre-flight checks, so that 4:35 p.m. departure time—-fuhgeddaboutdit.
The view of our gate jetway at the scheduled departure time for our flight to Athens.
I started to fret about missing our connection in Athens for our flight to Heraklion on Crete even though we had allowed for a generous 4 hours. I was pleasantly surprised when we boarded only an hour late and were soon barreling down the runway and airborne. We even were permitted to change our seats to ones that had working seat back entertainment centers. We were 3 rows from the back of the A 330 aircraft, but I thought our economy class seats were generously sized. On most American Airlines aircraft these days, even at a vertically challenged five feet, 3 inches tall, my knees touch the back of the seat in front of me. Here, there were a few inches to spare.
The flight information on the screen said we were only 5,019 miles from our destination. I stifled the impulse to ask Mr. Excitement if we were almost there yet. He doesn’t always “get” my travel humor. Dinner was served. Pasta or chicken? The chicken was edible. I forewent the “free” wine because I was still taking copious amounts of ibuprofen for a bad back sprain that only a few days before, I feared would scuttle our trip.
By about two hours after take off, the dinner detritus was collected by the flight attendants. I took a look at the flight monitor to see how we were doing in our progress across the Atlantic Ocean. I expected the flight attendants to then dim the lights in hopes that most passengers would fall asleep and not be annoying. But, the next announcement was:
If there are any medical professionals on board, could you please go to seat 16C where a passenger is in need of medical attention.
On two previous flights, Mr./Dr. Excitement was the only person to admit to being a medical professional. This time, he looked down the aisle, and saw that four medical professionals were already clustered around seat 16C. Flight attendants started scurrying about with medical equipment bags and oxygen tanks. A passenger medical professional wearing a stethoscope was ushered to the back galley, no doubt to confer with the airline’s medical personnel on the ground. I could make out muffled muttering about turning around and soon felt a shift in the engine noise.
Not really what you want to see on your seatback screen on your flight from Philly to Athens.
The flight pattern on the monitor showed us indeed executing a mid-air 180 degree turn. From the flight deck, the captain soon announced that we might have noticed the change in our flight path and because of the medical emergency, we were returning to Philadelphia. Soon after, it was the first officer announcing that instructions had changed to divert to the city with the nearest appropriate medical facilities which happened to be Boston—even though PHL would have only been about 30 minutes farther. Next, it was a somewhat frantic sounding flight attendant asking if any passenger happened to have the high blood pressure medication lisinopril available.
The first officer then announced there were no American A330 certified pilots in the Boston area and our crew was going to “time out” before they would be able to fly us to Athens, Greece. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen to us, but as soon Boston emergency medical services (EMS) collected our very seriously ill passenger, they would figure it out. About 30 minutes later, we were told we were going to return to PHL at which point further information would be available.
We landed back in PHL at 12:30 a.m. About 7 hours after we had left PHL, it was announced our flight was cancelled—not a stunning revelation at that point. All approximately 300 passengers were to deplane and line up to be re-booked. Hotel rooms would be provided for those who needed them. Some of our fellow passengers had already flown across the country that morning to PHL, an American Airlines hub for flights to Europe. They even had sandwiches available for those who had not consumed enough chicken or pasta.
We deplaned and I sent Mr. Excitement to the back of the rebooking line while I sat down to try to call American Airlines to see what I could arrange to salvage our trip. As proof that no good deed goes unpunished, the physician who had cared for the really sick passenger was at the back of the rebooking line with Dr. Excitement. When he realized Dr. E. was also a “medical professional” he divulged that the sick passenger had been in serious heart failure and had decompensated as soon as we got to our cruising altitude with an oxygen saturation below 80%, and not enough oxygen on board to keep him breathing. The passenger told the incredulous Good Samaratin aero-doctor that even though he knew he was very ill, he had decided to fly to Crete for a second medical opinion, you know, from Philadelphia, a place where people from all over the world come for second medical opinions. The passenger physician told Dr. Excitement that he had provided the guy with a free second opinion:
DO NOT GET ON AN AIRPLANE AGAIN IN CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE!
Travel Tip #3 (and infinity): Do not get on an airplane in congestive heart failure.
As soon as I sat down, I received an email on my phone from American Airlines stating we were now scheduled for the same flight on Saturday (i.e. at this point, now later that day). This seemed a little too good to be true. I decided that rather than have Mr. Excitement lose his place in the back of the rebooking line, I better check the accuracy of that email.
Travel Tip #4: Do not believe every email you receive from an airline. Confirm with a human being. Ask for their home telephone number. If nothing else, you’ll both chuckle.
I called American Airlines. After seriously ticking off the menu tree artificial intelligence voice by insisting on speaking with a representative even though I was repeatedly assured most things could be handled digitally, the representative confirmed that we were indeed booked on the Saturday 4:35 p.m. flight to Athens. Since that would be in less than 24 hours, I asked if I could now check in online and I was assured I could. With a paranoia consistent with my 30 year legal career, I tried to check in online only to receive a message something to the effect of:
Are you high? You have no reservation on the Saturday flight from PHL to Athens.
Of course, I was, in fact, the opposite of high. I was very much on the ground at PHL.
I again called American Airlines, went through the menu excoriating me for wanting to speak to an actual human being, and finally was indeed connected to such a person. I tried to explain the situation coherently. Admittedly, I cannot guarantee I was actually coherent at that point. In any case, she confirmed that the email from American Airlines saying we were booked on the Saturday flight was indeed a cruel joke, but she could book us on a 7:15 a.m. flight to Heathrow in London, connecting to a flight to Athens that would get us there at 4:15 pm, too late to get to Heraklion in Crete to resume our original travel plans. I asked if there was a flight leaving PHL for Athens at 4:35 p.m. on Sunday. Absolutely, and she could even get us two seats together. I wanted to consult with Mr. Excitement, but glancing at the 200 or so people still in the rebooking line, I made an executive decision to book the Sunday flight to Athens.
It was now 1:30 a.m. on Saturday. We started trudging through the eerily empty airport toward a distant baggage claim, gratefully accepting a ride from a motorized cart that I usually consider unnecessary for those as stalwart as ourselves. We were soon on our way home with a sleepy taxi driver, only 13 hours since we had last departed. I won’t bore you with the details that we didn’t have the fob necessary to enter our building, and the security phone wasn’t working, but eventually we opened the door to our apartment.
It was 2:30 a.m. I really, really wanted to go to bed, but there were unraveled travel arrangements that had to be re-raveled before it was too late. Our original plan had been to fly to Heraklion, Crete from Athens to check out the Minoan ruins (remember them from 8th grade?) before Dr. Excitement had to be at the other end of the island for his conference. At the end of the conference, we would fly back to Athens from Crete’s other airport at Chania, near the conference site. Now, we needed to fly directly to Chania from Athens, leave the conference hotel a day early, drive to Heraklion, spend one night and fly back to Athens. In a nutshell, I had to change our flights to and from Crete, cancel our hotel reservation in Heraklion, change our car rental reservation, and book a new night in Heraklion for the end of our time on Crete. Some would say, this is why I should have used a travel agent, but honestly, time was of the essence. Thanks to the magic of the internet, I was able to accomplish all the changes myself in about an hour and a half. We’re actually not out of pocket very much, and I’ll deal with filing travel interruption/cancellation claims at some point.
Groundhog Day
It felt odd to be home when we weren’t supposed to be there. The dog, Dino, was already down the shore with our travel blogger friends, Pete and Betsy Wuebker of Passing Thru. We caught up on our sleep, did more laundry, scrounged for food (having already cleaned out the refrigerator in preparation for our trip), and had some minor PTSD about having to reboard flight 758 from PHL to Athens on Sunday. We called the guy who had driven us to the airport who was a little surprised to hear from us, but available to start over with us.
On Sunday, we caught the beginning of the Philadelphia Eagles vs. the Detroit Lions football game at home. We arrived at the airport and repeated the process for getting to gate A21. Once again, our attempt at kiosk check in didn’t work. A guy with an American Airlines badge hanging around his neck directed us to a line to deal with a decidedly cranky counter agent. Apparently, he directed us to the wrong line. “Lady, this is seriously NOT our fault.”
We trudged over to the TSA PreCheck terminal and again passed through smoothly except for Mr. Excitement having to be re-re-reminded to remove the metal change from his pocket. We approached gate A21 warily, feeling a little like a previously abused dog. A.Plane.Was.There!
We decided to watch some more of the Eagles game in the Chickie and Pete’s bar/restaurant across from our gate. I dutifully ordered some chicken noodle soup, so we could watch the Eagles self destruct on their TV. As a native Philadelphian, I bleed Eagles green. After about half an hour, I could no longer take it, and left Mr. Excitement to watch the mayhem alone. Apparently, my elusive black travel cardigan is also an Eagles’ masochist and chose to remain draped over the back of my chair. Fortunately, Mr. Excitement noticed it and I was spared the ignominy of having to confess to my Facebook friends that I needed to buy a 5th black cardigan.
Travel Tip #5: See Travel Tip #2
At 4:00 p.m., we boarded a half empty A330 jet. Some of our fellow passengers had been bumped off the Saturday flight to Athens, probably to make room for the refugees from the cancelled Friday flight. As we walked the length of the plane to our seats again in the back of the aircraft, we anxiously scanned our fellow passengers for anyone who looked like they really shouldn’t be flying.
The flight attendants had heard rumors about what happened on the Friday 7 hour flight to NoWheresVille and were interested in some more details. Dr. Excitement told them that if they needed a medical professional for an ill passenger, they could count on him to assure the pilot that we could safely fly to Athens and didn’t need to divert to another airport for urgent medical care.
The flight was uneventful. Once we all took our assigned seats, the very chilled flight attendants let people move to wherever they wanted to. Consequently, after consuming their chicken or pasta, many passengers stretched out across 4 seats and went to sleep.
We landed on time at Athens. We were a little perturbed at the long line at immigration control, but just as we approached, our US passports readily visible, we were ushered to a very short line for European Union (EU) passport holders. Maybe Donald Trump has some secret plan for the United States to join the EU after Britain crashes out in a no deal Brexit. Our passports were given a desultory glance, stamped, and at last, we were in Greece.
Mr. Excitement has an excellent circadian rhythm. One of the downsides is jet lag.
One silver lining of having to rebook our flight to Crete was that we had to switch to business class tickets (the last seats on the flight we needed to be on). This gave us access to the Aegean Airlines Business Class lounge where we ate our first Greek specialties from their buffet, surfed their free wifi, passed on the ouzo (basically the 100 proof national alcoholic beverage of Greece), and in Mr. Excitement’s case, succumbed to jet lag.
After about 3 hours, we made our way to the gate for the half hour flight to Chania, on Crete, only to be greeted by something in Greek, and then, “Our flight will be leaving at some unspecified time past its scheduled departure time because of the need for a ‘technical inspection'”. Noooooooo!
Mr. Excitement spotted the head of his conference in the waiting area. At least he’d understand if we were late. We boarded only an hour after our scheduled departure time. I had emailed our incredibly efficient rental car guy on Crete and he assured us someone from his company would be waiting for our plane to take us to our car (one with an embarrassing automatic transmission because like most of our fellow Americans, we can’t drive a manual transmission.)
I entered the name of our final destination into my Google Maps app, and despite taking us down some roads we weren’t exactly sure actually were roads, we arrived at the Avra Imperial Hotel Resort in Kolymvari on the northwest coast of Crete. We were shown to our room, where we decided pretty much immediately that it had been worth the trouble to get there.
The “smaller” pool at the Avra Imperial Hotel Resort in Kolymvari, Crete, Greece.
Travel Tip #6: If you really, really have to be somewhere (i.e. your own wedding, a transoceanic cruise departure), plan to arrive a least 3 days early. One day ahead used to be enough. Now, I think not.
Travel Tip #7, Life Tip #1: Just because you’re paranoid, does not mean they’re not out to get you.
P.S.: American Airlines gifted us each 20,000 frequent flyer miles for good behavior. Seriously, passengers were pretty good natured about our return to Philly given the dire condition of our fellow passenger.
Travel Tip #8: Yes, More S#*t Can Happen
We enjoyed our time on Crete and in Athens. We then spent a week in Sofia, Bulgaria so Mr. Excitement could commune with his roots. From there we were supposed to fly to Ljubljana, Slovenia on Adria Airlines for a few days before heading to Zurich, Switzerland to catch our flight to Singapore and then on to Perth, Australia. The night before our flight, I googled Adria Airlines so we could get our boarding passes. The first thing that popped up was an announcement that Adria Airlines had gone bankrupt and ceased operations about a week before.
We sat in stunned silence digesting this information. No other airlines flew to Ljubljana from Sofia. We decided we better make sure we could get to Zurich from Sofia, so we wouldn’t miss our flight to Singapore. Our AirBnb was rented out for the next night, so we had to find a hotel for one night, book plane tickets to Zurich, and find a hotel there for 2 nights. We picked the Zurich Airport Marriott which is attached to the airport. The airport has a light rail station. We enjoyed Zurich, but were sorry to miss Slovenia. Oh well, next time.
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Regarding travel tips: I wouldn’t know where to begin (and I’ve learned over the years not to begin!).
What you two went through to get to Crete was epic. It reminds me of the longest flight delay I have experienced: a 56-hour delay of a fully-booked 747 flight from Boston to London. The 747 was brand-new, and I was a new cabin crew member. The delay was a “rolling” mechanical delay, meaning that the passengers had to remain together because the mechanical problem was perpetually on the verge of (maybe) being diagnosed and fixed. I, along with the other 17 cabin crew members assigned to the flight, stayed with the 356 passengers throughout the 56 hours. We all waited at Boston airport for hours; were bused to a hotel on Cape Cod, where we spent most of one day waiting or eating on the beach and never reached our rooms; were bused back to and waited for more hours at Boston airport, and, finally, waited more hours on board the aircraft. By the time the flight actually took off, we were all so exhausted that we became euphoric. Once at cruising altitude, everyone shared the available food (originally enough for only half of the passengers, due to a commissary error when they loaded the galleys at the last minute), and then we had a spontaneous plane-wide (except for the cockpit) pillow fight. After that, every single passenger slept for the rest of the flight. When the a/c landed at LHR, we all felt like old friends, and every passenger on my side of the aircraft gave me a hug as s/he thanked me and bid adieu. The pursers at the 2 doors through which the passengers debarked had the same experience, and the airline did not receive one complaint about the delay. That is a brief summary of 56 hours about which I have many sub-stories, but I’ll leave it at that.
Looking forward to more of your stories about your travels, Leslie
There is something about misery loving company. I listened to the soundtrack for the musical about the 39 planes diverted to Gander, Newfoundland for 3 days, starting in 9/11. The passengers bonded with each other and the townspeople. On our flight, we found everyone remarkably good natured and understanding about what happened.
Glad to hear that you and Dr. Excitement made it relatively unscathed! And, I’m most happy to hear that the black travel cardigan survived!
Yes, thanks to Mr. Excitement’s eagle eye (get it?), the black travel cardigan arrived with me in Greece.
How I love your wry way with words. Wish I were so witty. All I can muster is alliteration, obviously. I get what you’re saying about arriving a day or more ahead of time for important events. I need to follow that advice more often. Glad you finally arrived and could enjoy Crete. How wonderful to have 5 weeks away!
Wryness and an appreciation for the absurd helps one deal with travel trauma. Maybe I should have added that as a travel tip.
What a story! Glad the guy who was ill made it off the plane okay. And so glad you finally made it to Greece!!
Alls well that ends well. Waiting to board flight 4 (Athens to Sofia, Bulgaria) of our original itinerary.
What an incredible story!!
Not really all that incredible. All frequent fliers can expect one of these days/nights in their travel lives at some point; hence, the tip about giving yourself a few extra days if you absolutely have to be somewhere.
And I thought my own travel nightmare–titled “I spent the night at Dunkin’ Donuts in Newark Airport”–was bad! BTW, I never wrote my story because I couldn’t bear to relive the horrors.
I think you “win”. We got to spend our “extra” 2 nights and day at home and were able to rejigger our travel plans. Dunkin Donuts is open all night in Newark, Airport. At PHL, at least in the international terminal, nothing was open. Nada.
Do I have any travel tips to share? Yeah. Never, every fly American Airlines.
It’s kind of hard to avoid American Airlines when you live in Philadelphia. Ever since American acquired US Airways or merged with them or whatever, Philly has been an American hub, especially for Europe. There is something attractive about getting off a plane from across The Pond and getting to travel 20 minutes to home, while others fret about missed connections, and 6 hour long additional plane rides. At this point, I think all the US airlines are relatively hit and/or miss; hence, my admonition to add a cushion of a few days if possible if you really, really have to be somewhere on a date certain.
Your story would be funny if it weren’t such an inconvenience to you and Mr. Excitement and a big pain in the butt. At least AA “gifted” you each some miles it does help ease the pain of the ordeal. I’m hoping your infamous black cardigan makes it home with you after this epic trip. Fingers crossed.
I’m definitely wearing it here in Bulgaria everyday. It’s suddenly cold.
Another satirical and amusing tale from Mr. and Mrs. Excitement! When you travel a lot, the odds go up, way up, that you’ll encounter what seems like more than your share of travel mishaps. Thanks for sharing your “adventure” – we can all learn from it. 🙂
I figured that with an 11 flight trip, the odds were not in our favor, but a complete turnaround en route is a new one for me.
This one certainly went into the record books. Every time I visited Facebook, there was a new thorn thrown into your air flight. I loved that you could keep a sense of humor about it all and we can learn in the process. I am watching closely to see if the black cardigan has as much fun as you do! Good luck and enjoy those 5 weeks on the road with Mr. Excitement!
Gosh what an ordeal. You poor things. I’m afraid though (due to my terrible black humour) I have to confess to a few giggles. Naturally, I’m glad the ill passenger was taken to hospital, but what a silly person to get on a flight knowing they were not well. Your voice and humour made this a very readable post, despite the dire consequences. I think you did well to make light of all the disruptions, although I’m sure at the time you didn’t feel like making light of them at all. I’m so glad the hotel in Crete made up for things, and I do hope that you have safe and uneventful flights as you travel to Australia. Hang onto that black cardigan – although the weather is heating up in Perth this week – you may not need it after all!!
What a wild and crazy adventure, and great writing fodder!! I wonder at times. Is there such a thing as a smooth flight anymore?
Wow. Just wow. It’s not the turned around flight or the delays, it’s all the juggling and changing of everything else that would have had me freaking out. When I was traveling for business, while we might have been stuck in airports due to missed flights or canceled flights, I always had an Assistant who was back at the office reorganizing everything for us, getting us onto new flights, fixing the car rental situation, etc. One phone call to her and everything was fixed. Now that work would fall on me and I don’t think I’d do as well as she did or as you did.
Almost as much fun as that time we rocked up at Stanstead with flights and accommodation for 4 booked to Istanbul, Dubai, then Kathmandu, then Everest Base Camp and Bhutan, to find that the booking agent had taken our money and not provided us with tickets…
But at least you kept hold of your cardi.
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