It is reported that Virgin Atlantic Airlines is now allowing cell (mobile) phone use during flights. Remind me never to fly on Virgin Atlantic. It is one thing to deal with a yakking cell phone user on a train or bus. On a train, you can move to the quiet car. Even on a bus, you can demand to be let off if you simply cannot take it anymore. At 36,000 feet this is simply not an option.
In a recent post, I discussed some of the annoyances faced by air travelers. These pale compared to being forced to listen to another plane passenger on their cell phone, no doubt yelling because it is difficult to hear over the sound of jet engines and with ears that feel clogged due to changes in air pressure. Unless you have very expensive noise cancelling headphones, you will be forced to listen to Mr. or Ms. Oblivious, say all manner of things to the person on the other end of their conversation — their imaginary friend from your perspective.
- “Guess where I am!”
- “Could you check to see if I left the iron on. By the way — guess where I am!”
- “Before I left, Dino threw up. There was plastic in it. It’s in a paper towel in the trash. If he does it again, maybe you should take him to the vet. Guess where I am!”
- “I was very hurt that you did (or did not do) _________________ last night. Guess where I am!”
- “You have to take Mom to the doctor. She told me that she is having diarrhea all the time. (Fill in, minute description of diarrhea). No I can’t take her. Guess where I am!”
If you’re in first class, you will be treated to:
- “I forgot to put in the note that Buffy has an orthodondist appointment at five, after her _______________ practice. The au pair can’t take her. No, of course, I can’t take her. Guess where I am!”
- “We made a killing on that credit default swap? Tell book-keeping that this must be deposited into our Cayman Island account immediately. Guess where I am!”
- You &*^@#! How could you? After all the times I ______________ for you? You are telling me this by telephone!?! Guess where I am!”
- No way!! I would not donate money to that ____________’s campaign even if hell froze over!! Don’t ever call me again!! Guess where I am!”
- “What do you mean the London office just lost two billion dollars on a credit default swap? No, you don’t have to remind me that the shareholders’ meeting is on Tuesday. What do you expect me to do about this now? Guess where I am?”